How to Access Sexuality Settings in The Sims 4

Here’s everything you need to know about The Sims 4’s sexual orientation options.

Quick links

  • Sexual Orientation Settings Create A Sim
  • Sexual Orientation of NPCs in The Sims 4

The Sims 4The game-changing free update drops added complex layers of customization to the already sprawling list of options. Next to the High school years expansion pack, the EA team has rolled out the Sexuality Patch update which, for the first time in Sims history, allows you to set your Sim’s sexual orientation and determine your NPC’s lover.

Related: The Sims 4 Years of High School: How to Survive High School

Before you muster up the courage to flirt with someone, try to determine if their interests match yours. Here’s a guide to the sexual orientation system and how to use it for realistic gameplay.

Sexual Orientation Settings Create A Sim

If you are creating your Sims from scratch in the Create a Sim Menuyou can change their gender and sexuality preferences in the gender panel to the left of the basic info window when you add a new Sim to the household.


Preferences are divided into three categories.

Romantic interests This indicates who your Sim will fall in love with. Your options are Male, Female, or deselect both options to choose none.
WooHoo or Mess Around interests This indicates who your Sim will consider for a physical relationship. Your options are Male, Female, or deselect both options to choose none.
Opportunities for exploration This indicates your Sim’s openness to testing the waters of their romantic attractions. By checking “no”, they will politely reject advances from Sims that do not match their romantic preferences.

If you’re playing in Live Mode or want to change your Sim’s preferences later, such as when a child reaches teenage age or you’re no longer open to exploring your attractions, you can change to by clicking on a mirror and selecting “Change Sim”.

This will open your Sim in Create-A-Sim, so you can simply make the necessary changes in the gender panel.

Sexual Orientation of NPCs in The Sims 4

Butterflies swirl in your stomach as you stand before your crush, the love of your passed out teenage life, and ask them out to prom.

Alas, you walk away with a broken heart and an Embarrassed mood to boot, since your crush isn’t into you that way at all. Shame!

To prevent this from happening, there are two ways to verify the romantic and physical interests of NPCs in The Sims 4:

  • Ask about their romantic/WooHoo/mess-around preferences. If your relationship with another Sim is high enough, allow your interest to be piqued and simply ask your crush what interests them. Even if you’re not an option for them, it’s better to be let down gently and save your pride.
  • Get your shot and flirt with them. If you’re not one to get comfortable and get to know people before throwing compliments, err on the side of caution and flirt to find out a Sim’s preferences. Just keep in mind that flirting with someone who doesn’t like you could give you a powerful Embarrassed mood for a few hours.

When your Sim discovers another Sim’s preference, it will display in their Sim Info Panel. You can access it from your friends window in the bottom right toolbar.

Once you know their attractions, your Sim will no longer be able to flirt with Sims whose interests do not include you.

If you really want your Sim to date an NPC that is not compatible with them, you can always befriend them, add them to your household, then change their preferences in the Create a Sim menu using a mirror.

Next: The Sims 4: Desires and Fears, Explained

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