10 Ways I Wish Real Life Was Like The Sims
I played The Sims since 2003 – my friend showed me the game in college, and I’ve never looked back. And the more the game expands over time with new installments, expansions, and packs, the easier it becomes to dive into it.
Granted, my first game back then was wishful thinking. Of course, I was never going to marry any of the guys from the bands I liked, but it was fun to simulate my pixelated fantasy life. They were successful musicians, I was a successful author, we had a huge mansion, a ton of money, and everyone I didn’t like ended up in a pool with no ladder – I was really livin ‘ Wide.
But real life doesn’t work that way – I didn’t marry a rock star, I didn’t land a ridiculously well-paid publishing deal, and I promise I’ve never killed anyone IRL (don’t Don’t look at my Sims backyards, though). My real life is pretty sweet these days, but it would be way cooler if it was even remotely as easy as The Sims in many ways.
ten Master Chef level meals are easy
In The Sims 4 my Sims live on Garden Salad for their first few days because even with a fire alarm I don’t trust them not to set everything on fire. But it doesn’t take long before they’ve learned the ropes and become a natural chef. You can improve your cooking skills immediately, with Gourmet Cooking unlocking after reaching level five.
But in reality, you can work for years on your cooking skills and successfully burn butter. I don’t think many people suddenly had a eureka moment that resulted in the exact recipe for a flawless Lobster Thermidor (which kind of takes as long to make as canned macaroni and cheese).
9 Become charismatic by talking to yourself
Charisma has always been a big deal in The Sims. When you’re a charmer, you seduce people with no problem; friendships are easy and romance is even easier. Luckily, there are plenty of ways to improve your Sims’ relationship skills, and especially one of them is to spend hours alone talking to yourself in the mirror.
I have been working mostly remotely since the start of the pandemic, and my bedroom mirror dance parties absolutely did not make me suaver – on the contrary. Since I met the guy I’m dating, I’ve said so many mouth-watering things that I still wonder, months later, why he likes me sometimes, but I’d bet that probably isn’t the time I spent talking to myself.
8 Transform a house in one click
For some people, building and renovating is the bread and butter of The Sims. Scrolling through the Gallery will have even the most seasoned Simmer marveling at how creative people are in this game. and return to live mode to enjoy your new home.
And renovations would be so wonderful if they were that easy, but home improvement takes work. Do you have any idea how long it takes to paint a room?
seven A makeover can happen anytime
This series is all about customization, with Create-a-Sim offering all sorts of customizations. Your whole look depends on you: hairstyle, makeup, outfit, bone structure, tattoos, etc. Any slight changes you might want to make to your body, click the dresser and step away from someone completely different.
Meanwhile, in the real world, a beauty regimen takes time. My hair is thick and curly, and it requires a lotAfter just one click to change that. My tattoo artist books about two months, then I have to travel to do it. Makeup costs money and takes time to apply. I’d love to come out of the closet with a sleeve tattoo, full face and stylish locks every morning, but I guess Sim Me has everything luck.
6 Deep connections take hours to forge
Although the social system has evolved over time, it’s still so much easier to make dear friends or find a soul mate in the game. That townsman who loaded up in the community lot next to you just might be your best friend by the time you get home. The cute stranger at the bar could be your spouse by tonight if you play your cards right.
My best friend has been in my life for two whole decades, since elementary school. While there were moments of quick friendships that kind of lasted, in this game those same lifelong bonds can be yours in an evening.
5 Achieve artistic mastery in moments
After a few hours of awkward notes, your Sim is a guitar wizard. Realistic portraiture is not only an easy style to learn, but masterpieces are a dime a dozen before long. Bake beautiful, elaborate cakes the second you open your fridge. Your first novel could very well be a bestseller.
I consider myself a creative, but come on. Yes, I could make you the wedding cakes from My Wedding Stories, but that’s because I’ve been a pastry chef for half my life. I beg you not to make me draw anything. Virtuosi wouldn’t be special if achieving mastery was so easy, of course, but it would have to be rad enough to be able to shred on my guitar after a long weekend.
Same obtain a job is easier in The Sims. There are almost no qualifications required to start a career, so the sky is the limit, as long as you are willing to start at the bottom and pick up skills along the way. Even if you have to grind, you’ll be on top in a few weeks.
If you meet the requirements, you are promoted approximately once a week. I quit my last job in customer service after seven years, where no matter how many times I interviewed, I never changed jobs. I wasn’t even asking for something crazy like fame or wealth when I applied either – I just wanted assurance.
3 The move is instantaneous
We all outgrow our life situations. Whether you’re expanding the family and need more space, have a child leaving the nest, or just need a change of scenery, click on your Sims’ cell phones and select “move out.” After confirming that yes you would like the house, congratulations – you are the owner.
Anyone who has watched the past few years can tell you that the real estate market is a nightmare. Home ownership and even renting, in some places, is a distant pipe dream for many of us. When I move, I’ll have to fight other people to get my place, spend a week or two stuffing my stuff into a truck, and settling my life in a new place. There’s not much I wouldn’t do for a “move housekeeping” button.
2 Pregnancy is child’s play
Childbirth is a miracle, and it’s even more so in The Sims. In the newer games, you can instantly find out if you are pregnant, and each trimester lasts for a day until the baby appears after some discomfort. In the original Sims, you kissed until one of you decided to have a baby, and it would come into the world immediately afterwards (for the small Peter Pan price of never aging past childhood ).
But some people can take years to get pregnant, and once the baby is conceived, pregnancy is far more complicated for everyone than just the occasional nausea for mom. And it’s before the birthing process itself, which is undeniably more gruesome.
1 Motherlode-ing your way to the 1 percent
I love the poverty-to-rich challenges in The Sims, but it’s saying something when you have to TRY to be poor. Eventually, if your Sim is unemployed, the family will run out of money, but that’s nothing a few cheat codes can’t fix if you don’t feel like getting a job. Just make a massive deposit of money into your family’s funds without anyone asking about your mysterious new way of life.
Even if you could randomly summon $50,000 in cash, it wouldn’t be as easy as having the money, because the government will be asking questions soon. Like it or not, I can’t just type a nonsense word into a computer and change my entire life with a single click.
But it sure would be nice if I could.
NEXT: Sims 4: Cheats You Need To Try